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The John Wick films have always worn their videogame influences on their sleeves, and Ballerina is no different. This film is centred less around set-pieces than all-out levels. It’s pure game logic and I’m totally fine with that. I was even wondering if they had deliberately de-rez’d the flame-thrower baddie’s head to make him look even more like a PS1 character.
But this videogame structure contributes to the feeling that, even in a franchise not famous for its story, this is the worst story so far. Cults and counter-cults and there are no consequences for anthing and it all makes no sense. But that’s by design, so I’m left feeling a bit stupid for even mentioning it here?
On the other hand, Ballerina contains easily some of the best fights in the franchise. They’re more physical and acrobatic and weightier than we’ve seen in a while. Axes lodge themselves in bodies with a believable thunk. Obviously helped by the fact that Ana de Armas is almost twenty five years younger than Keanu Reeves, so she’s able to throw herself around a lot more. It also means they’re not relegated to just using stupid kevlar suits as a get-out-of-jail-free card in the fights.
And, I’m sorry to report that I’m a but a weak middle-aged hetero male and so any scene with Ana de Armas kicking ass a split-leg dress and big stompy boots will instantly earn the film an extra star by default.
I enjoyed this a lot more than I was expecting to.
I enjoyed the Philippou’s previous film, Talk to Me. It was a simple premise effectively told by a bunch of genre sickos.
Their follow-up, Bring Her Back is a different beast. It’s still got plenty of the stuff that we want from a film like this - a lady learning how to summon a demon via a Russian VHS? Yes… ha ha ha… yes! - and when the film goes hard, it goes fucking hard with plenty of, uh, mouth destruction(?) with some top-class foley-work that is plenty squirm-inducing.
But this comes at a cost. I feel like the story, by virtue of being more complicated, kind of got away from them a little? At times the film is let down by some incredibly inelegant writing (e.g. Chekhov’s body-spray) with an inability to settle on a single tone they were going for and that made it less of a fun hang. It’s frustrating because the film is so close to being a lot better than it is.
But I’m begging of you, A24, can you please, please, please stop trying to make Hereditary again?
Fair play to Sally Hawkins though. Not so much playing against the Sally Hawkins type as much as weaponising the Sally Hawkins type by placing it in a more sinister context.
Look, it’s dhh and we all have our thoughts about him and his political beliefs but when he sticks in his lane of only doing code/technical stuff, he can produce some really good stuff. His Arch/Hyprland setup here is lovely.
I’m trying to switch over to the Affinity design tools (designer, photo). The best way I’ve found to learn a new thing is to give yourself a specific project so you’re forced to poke at the uncomfortable bits. So I decided for this, I’d mock up some Topps trading cards for some rad movies that deserved some trading cards.
The first Jurassic Park film was a formative cinematic experience for me. The last Jurassic World film, Dominion was a firm DNF. A heck of a drop-off in a series.
So I’m happy to say that Jurassic World: Rebirth takes us back to the high highs of being about as good as Jurassic Park 3. Which is still objectively not great, but it’s infinitely better than movies 4-6. It story is about a world where people aren’t interested in dinosaurs any more and they’re dying around them and it’s hard not to read this as a meta-commentary on what happened to the franchise in the bombastic-but-dull Pratt years.
In fairness to Gareth Edwards, the film looks mostly gorgeous. A lot of the outdoor shots felt genuinely expansive. I can’t remember the last time a blockbuster hasn’t felt entirely volume-y or soundstage-y. A couple of times, Edwards even manages to capture some of the Spielberg magic. Even without the explicit callback of someone standing in the bow rail of a boat and shooting at a monstrous fish, there are parts here that nail the vibe of Jaws, which is an impressive feat. Another part of the film even captured the vibe of Aliens, of all films. People sometimes complain that Edwards makes films that are too cold and too clinical, but I feel like he’s finally proved them wrong here.
The real problem with Jurassic World: Rebirth that the script is total shite. We get an “objects in the mirror are closer than they appear” reference right after the cold open, which felt like a punch in the gut destroying whatever positive expectations I had. It’s when I realised this was going to be a film more about callbacks than anything new. Like buying a toaster from Amazon and then the algorithm constantly recommending you toasters. Remember the bit where they first see the brachiosaurus? Here it is again but with 100% more tail (and, somehow, not substantially better graphics? One of the exceptions I was thinking of when I said “mostly gorgeous”). Remember the “they do move in herds” bit? Here it is again but instead of 10 dinosaurs, the herd is 100 dinosaurs. Remember the flare bit? Remember? I understand there’s probably a lot of complicated franchise maintenance involved in a film like this and a certain amount of fan-service but the dial feels way, way off here. The original Jurassic Park had some absolute banger lines that have stuck with us for 30 years, like the entire “your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could” speech. Rebirth gives us - and I’m not kidding here - “You don’t see that every day!” Absolutely atrocious work from David Koepp.
Off the bat, it’s clear that Thunderbolts* is trying to do a little more than recent Marvel outings, and I appreciate that (I don’t log DNFs here but I haven’t managed to make it through any recent Marvel properties at all). And they’re injecting a hint of life into proceedings with some funny one-liners but that now-default Marvel tone where everything is incredibly serious but also not at all serious? I know it’s hard to let it go but I think I’m kind of done with it.
Anyway, it was nice to see a superhero film that doesn’t resolve itself by having enormous cgi monsters hitting each other. So kudos for that, I guess?
Also strict moratorium on bullshit filler like “that’s what I’m talking about” and “that just happened!” in any scripts going forward. You’re on a yellow card, Marvel.
Jesus, this is one boomer-ass movie.
I’m a fan of Altman’s style and can only imagine how refreshing it must have been at the time. Once the movie starts, there’s barely five seconds where someone isn’t talking. Usually there are multiple people talking over each other. It’s relentless and chaotic, but in a good way.
But holy shit, watching this in 2025, it’s hard to see these counter-culture anti-heroes as anything other than a pack of sexist, racist, misogynistic, homophobic boomer assholes.
Whoa! Teenage Engineering have made an electric scooter and it’s shockingly cheap? (For TE, I mean. The base 30mAh model scooter is only slightly more expensive than the collapsible table they brought out a couple of years ago).
The torture scene — previously the high water mark for can’t-watch gruesomeness in movies — has lost a lot of its bite (sorry!) but the rest of the film still holds up. A terrific, if only occasionally a little silly, slice of 70s paranoia set in the platonic ideal of grimy New York. The “Der Weisse Engel!” scene is an all-timer.
This feels like a companion-piece to Los Campesinos! documenting their tour of Ireland. It sounds incredibly rough out there for mid-level musicians.