My favourite is the Ayme family from Ecuador, pictured above. It makes me wonder: are pork pie hats mandatory in Ecuador? If so, I’m booking a flight today.
This is my pork pie hat.
There are many like it, but this one is MINE.
My pork pie hat is my best friend. It is my life.
I must master it as I must master my life.
My pork pie hat without me is useless. Without my pork pie hat, I am useless.
One thing that’s concerning me is the lack of processed foods in that picture. Surely they’d have a Subway or a McDonalds or something? Maybe one of those sacks is just full of spice burgers, I dunno.
Quick confession: A few days ago, I actually Googled “KFC Rome Italy”. I am weak.
Some witnesses say they saw a rainbow above the courtroom. And others say they saw a giant man in the clouds with a white beard nodding his head approvingly. And me? Well I saw Judge Michael Sauer grow to be twelve feet tall, with muscles the size of tree trunks. And when he smiled, little cartoon hearts appeared above my head and there was a strange tingling sensation in my pants.
Since I last spoke about the Roman bread situation, there have been a couple of interesting developments. First, I have found a bread that is capable of holding a slice of ham, a slice of cheese and a slice of tomato without having everything spilling over the sides.
Hooray!
Except where’s the fucking crust?! Did the bakery not get the note about the crust? I know that there’s a lot of people out there who aren’t fans of the crust on sandwiches and would probably welcome the pre-packed removal of the crust. To these people I say: sack up and realise that a sandwich without crust is only half a sandwich.
But there’s another problem. You probably can’t see it from either of my awful, awful pictures, but each of these small packs contains five slices of bread. Five.
This is kinda like the issue of burgers coming in packs of eight and burger buns coming in packs of six, except you can always eat a burger without a bun, and burger buns don’t have to be used exclusively for burgers. Actually, it’s not like the burger/buns situation at all. It would be more like burgers coming in packs of eight and burger buns coming in packs of three and a half.
Rather than work myself into an early grave giving out about the busted logic behind stuffing five slices of bread into a pack clearly made for sandwiches, I’m off to cry myself to sleep and dream of once again having a loaf of Brennan’s bread.
"God makes a vow He can’t keep, or if He did, He would undo all his good work. …. Is it any surprise that we sin again? And again? And again? All the way down to the present day. You can call this "original sin," but maybe it’s just lax parenting."
This is so well done! I don’t care if this is a real Chupacabra, a crack addict taking a shit in the bushes, or even just a special effect - it’s still going to keep me awake at night.
Four weeks ago:
Working at a computer for twelve hours a day, I’d go home and watch some really shit movie until the early hours of the morning. I’d go to sleep full of junk food and self-loathing.
Today:
After Italian class, I walked home in the sunshine, sat down beside the Pantheon and finished the Agatha Christie book I’d been reading (I’m 28 and never had time to read Agatha Christie before). Then I went home, ironed my girlfriend’s suit pants and monogrammed handkerchief, and got myself ready for dinner with the Irish president.
Girding my loins today is Universal Studios’ announcement that they will be developing a “theme park within a theme park” based on the Harry Potter books and movies. Covering over 20 acres, ‘The Wizarding World of Harry Potter’ will be a themed “land” (like “Frontierland” or “Tomorrowland”) within Universal’s Islands of Adventure in Orlando Florida. Universal say this area will contain contain ‘state of the art attractions’ and ’experimental shops’. Which sounds slightly ominous.
I’m a huge theme park nerd. As I said before, I don’t enjoy the rides as much as just walking around this completely artificial, fantasy world, soaking up all the simulacra. Combine this with the amazing production design of the Harry Potter movies, and you’ve got me hooked.
johnke.me
I’m pretty sure this is old news, but Time Magazine is running excerpts of the book “Hungry Planet: What the World Eats” on its website.
