The only thing more embarrassing than catching a guy on the plane looking at pornography on his computer is seeing a guy on the plane reading “The Hunger Games.” Or a Twilight book. Or Harry Potter. The only time I’m O.K. with an adult holding a children’s book is if he’s moving his mouth as he reads.

Translation: I am insufferable cunt.

Honestly, there’s not a sentence in his article that I don’t find absolutely hateful. Using Thomas Pynchon and David Foster Wallace to show us how well-read you are is total bullshit (I know this because it’s the exact kind of total bullshit I pull myself).